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page 11 of 16 |
 Don's interchangeable hosts react to the news that there are eight ways to buy and sell. |
For example, in regard to "buying and selling," Don states that there are eight ways to do this. He doesn't say what they are, mind you, he just says that there are eight of them. And in typical fashion, one of the show's interchangeable hosts expands the scope of the conversation by saying, "I never realized there were that many ways to make money buying and selling."
With that issue settled, Don moves on to his next subject, operating a 900 phone line. Here he says more than usual--there are service bureaus from which individuals can rent ready-to-go 900 numbers; the service bureaus handle content and the technical stuff so all the individual has to do is advertise the number. In the context of this infomercial, this constitutes a veritable outpouring of information, and the reason for this soon becomes clear: Don owns a service bureau himself. That, one imagines, is the real way to make money in the overcrowded 900 number business these days, but Don doesn't bother to point this out. Perhaps he's saving it for his next infomercial. Like all good showmen, Don saves his best shtick for last. Tiny classified ads. The phrase has a certain incantatory ring to it. Fully aware of its power, Don repeats it over and over, with greater enthusiasm each time. Tiny classified ads. Tiny classified ads. The trick, Don explains, is to find one ad that makes a "lousy $40 a profit a week." Once you've done that, you simply place it in 1000 different newspapers. Voila! You are now making $40,000 a week. Upon hearing this, one of the hosts, clearly in some kind of goggled-eyed trance induced by Don's clever repetition of his magical phrase, asks, "Is it pretty easy, Don?" And Don replies, "All you have to do is find one ad." Well... |
