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December 20, 2003
A Tale of Two Kiddies

Kathleen Parker on Strom Thurmond's classy stealth fatherhood:

What seems clear is that Thurmond cared about his daughter, even if he didn't publicly acknowledge her...He supported his daughter, sent her to college and was financially reliable throughout her life...Things happen in life and, goodness knows, life is complicated.

Kathleen Parker on Jesse Jackson's credibility-eroding rogue paternity:

As Jackson discussed his usefulness to all the world's concerns with CNN's Paula Zahn, specifically mentioning "moral authority," I couldn't help wondering what ever happened to that baby out in Los Angeles. You remember, the offspring of Jackson's love affair with a Rainbow Coalition worker... What's morally offensive about the rev and the rep is that their individual corruption far exceeds their carnal concerns.

Posted by Greg Beato at 10:36 AM
December 18, 2003
From the Department of Kitchenware Color Comparison

Minnesota Twee doesn't like it that Howard Dean is stealing a page from The Swinging Libertarian Schoolmarm's playbook. The Swinging Libertarian Schoolmarm links approvingly, with zero irony recognition.

Posted by Greg Beato at 09:30 AM
Conspiracy Theories

The Washington Times documents the latest rantings and ratings from rabid Bush-haters like Madeleine Albright and Howard Dean. Shocking as their utterances are, it's easy to understand why liberals seem alarmingly willing to believe the most outlandish theories regarding 9/11 preparedness, Osama's current whereabouts, etc.

After all, President Clinton killed Vince Foster because Foster was having an affair with Clinton's lesbian wife - and once you realize that the President of the United States is capable of calculated, cold-hearted murder, and the First Lady is capable of calculated, cold-hearted lesbianism and adultery, you tend to start believing the worst about anyone, just as a compensation mechanism.

Thus, as Albright and others desperately try to make the Cheerleader of the Free World look bad by speculating that he knows exactly where Osama is, and will produce him at the most opportune moment in the coming election season, it's important to remember the truth: George W. Bush has absolutely no idea where Osama Bin Laden is. And this seems fairly unlikely to change until God, who has been assisting Bush in his brave and principled effort to preserve Western civilization, reveals Bin Laden's location to him.

Posted by Greg Beato at 09:03 AM
December 17, 2003
Sarcastic and defiant...

Diane Sawyer interrogates George W. Bush, yields no new information...

Posted by Greg Beato at 08:45 AM
December 16, 2003
Newthink 101

When conservatives engage in edgy, politically incorrect humor, it's South Park Republicanism, refreshing evidence of free-thinkers whose minds are gloriously free of liberal cant and multi-culti dogma. When liberals engage in edgy, politically incorrect humor, it's "profanity and ethnic slurs."

Posted by Greg Beato at 08:47 AM
December 15, 2003
Now That's What I Call a Mess Hall...

The Associated Press reports that Saddam's hideaway was a mess:

In the makeshift kitchen, a small fridge contained a few Bounty candy bars, some hot dogs and a can of 7-UP. There was old bread on a counter, leftover rice in a pot and dirty dishes in the sink.

It sounds so bad it makes you wonder if Kellogg, Brown & Root had the maintenance contract there. OK, I admit, that's not an apt comparison. Given the job Kellogg, Brown & Root has reportedly been doing for American forces, Sadddam's place sounds pretty clean:

The Pentagon repeatedly warned contractor Halliburton-KBR that the food it served to US troops in Iraq was "dirty," as were as the kitchens it was served in, NBC News reported on Friday. Halliburton-Kellogg Brown and Root's promises to improve "have not been followed through," according to a Pentagon report that warned "serious repercussions may result" if the contractor did not clean up. The Pentagon reported finding "blood all over the floor," "dirty pans," "dirty grills," "dirty salad bars" and "rotting meats ... and vegetables" in four of the military messes the company operates in Iraq, NBC said, citing Pentagon documents.

Posted by Greg Beato at 08:58 AM
December 14, 2003
Death Sentence

The Associated Press reports that 600 soldiers took part in the capture of Saddam Hussein, but in fact there were 601 involved. I speak, of course, of the brave and crucial role that Andrew Sullivan played in seizing Saddam. Humbly employing the royal "we," the Yanque Manque eloquently summarizes his key contribution to the operation:

The men and women in our armed forces did the hardest work. They deserve our immeasurable thanks. But we all played our part. By facing down the evil, the cowardly and the simply misguided, we have done a great good.

Whatever happens to Saddam from here out, one thing is clear: for the myriad crimes he committed throughout his long reign of terror, he deserves nothing less than the death penalty.

But how to deliver such justice? My suggestion: let Sullivan pontificate him to death! Surely, there is no crueler, more painful way to kill someone...

Posted by Greg Beato at 03:51 PM
$25 Million Man

Saddam has been captured! Which I assume means some brave neighbor of his will be getting a $25 million reward. Meanwhile, I'll be giving a $25 reward to the first conservative blogger I can find who hasn't immediately reacted to this great news by scrutinizing the responses of the media, foreign leaders opposed to the war, and left-wing bloggers and determining that they're disappointed, angry, traitorous, etc. If I can't find one, then I'll just donate the $25 to the Red Cross...

Meanwhile, let's hope his capture helps shed light on questions about WMDs, Al Qaeda connections, foreign support, etc. This AP report says that "officials have yet to begin the process of intensive intelligence debriefings" of Saddam; this Time article reports that he's not saying much so far...

Posted by Greg Beato at 09:29 AM