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Indeed, at this point, it's hard to see how
Tesh might jeapordize his popularity. As I noted in
an earlier Tesh Files, his increasing tendency to make the
off-color non-sequitar might alienate some of his
more straitlaced fans, but it will probably enlist new ones as well.
A threat, acknowledged Conspiracy theorists speculate that Stern's enmity springs from long-simmering carnal jealousy: Tesh, they assert, is the Mystery Man whose facile ministrations whipped Stern's wife Allison, in her pre-hausfrau days, into such erotic frenzy that she engaged in certain acts of sexual variance to which she has never again consented--even after two decades of clumsy connubial grappling with Stern. While this theory has a satisfying ironic plausibility, it's more likely that Stern simply recognizes Tesh for what he is: the primary threat to his throne. Sensing his own imminent capitulation, Stern falls back on the traditional weapons of penultimate defeat: ridicule and invective. But really, it's only a matter of time. As the Tesh juggernaut accelerates, Stern will ultimately resort to squirmy genuflection, the last gasp of the vanquished... Tesh, nice guy that he is, will probably show him mercy. The King is dead. Long live the King. |
