Fasshist Gun in the East

Guilty or not, O'Reilly dreams of executing Gitmo prisoners. Disagree? Shut up, fascist.

50 First Vacations

President Bush is planning to spend the next five weeks on his 1600 acre ranch, riding a $3100 mountain bike that Trek gave him for free. A contingent of Secret Service agents and perhaps his own private ambulance will follow him closely. Or as Scott McClellan puts it, "Spending time outside of Washington always gives the president a fresh perspective of what's on the minds of the American people. It's a time, really, for him to shed the coat and tie and meet with folks out in the heartland and hear what's on their minds."

President Clinton hated leaving the White House. During his eight years as commander-in-chief, he spent only 152 days on vacation. (Thanks for helping us taxpayers get our money's worth, Monica!)

President Bush, who is headed toward Crawford for the 50th time since his first inauguration, has already topped Clinton's record. By the time he completes his current holiday, he will have spent 319 days in Crawford. In addition, he also vacations at Camp David and Kennebunkport. On average, he logs more than nine weeks of me-time a year, surpassing the French (they average about seven weeks of paid vacation annually) and almost matching his daughter Jenna.

When the president tires of mountain biking, he plans to wear a cowboy hat and point at things. If the mood strikes, he may also milk some stallions.