Monday: 07/22/02

Friday: 07/19/02

O.J. Raw!
Anna Nicole Smith has her own voyeurity show. P-Diddy's getting one. But who could really draw viewers like flesh-eating bacteria to a skin wound? Why, O.J. Simpson, of course. I started out thinking I'd write a few jokes about this unrealistic concept, but then I did a web search and found this article in the News-Press. Excerpt: "Pardo, 40, didnít waste time after seeing O.J. mania at TECO. He and cameraman William Cruz of Fort Myers packed their bags and took Simpson on a six-city tour, videotaping him in public settings like nightclubs, malls and golf courses. They also shot his private moments. Pardo wants to turn the footage into a TV show called 'O.J. Simpson Raw.' Heís selling it to TV executives as an answer to MTVís hit 'The Osbournes.'"

Friday: 07/12/02

Celebrity Becoming
You know that MTV show, Becoming, where regular people are transformed into their favorite celebrities via new hairstyles, wardrobes, and dance lessons? From an economic standpoint, it's a great concept -- it's a show about celebrities, but you don't actually have to pay any celebrities to make it. But from an entertainment standpoint, it's never really clicked: the lackluster performances by the celebrity wannabes regularly prove that it's harder than it looks to be a teen idol, but other than Jessica Simpson and various other popped stars worried about their place in the TRL firmament, I can't imagine there's much of an audience for that.

So what should MTV do to fix this crippled concept? Get rid of the regular people, and turn Becoming into Celebrity Becoming, the show where celebrities are transformed into other celebrities via new hairstyles, wardrobes, and dance lessons.

As these photos suggest, the possibilities are endless:

Glamorous '50s movie star Katy Jurado becomes
glamorous 50-something rockstar Paul Stanley.

Dazed but well-fed funnyman Jon Lovitz becomes
dazed but well-fed frontman Vince Neil.

Eerily lifelike TV monster Cryptkeeper becomes
eerily lifelike monster of rock David Lee Roth.

-- G. Beato

Cooking With Bigfoot

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